


A Night on D'Qar

by VenusianBouquet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finn-centric, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, jk i'll give him more credit than that, poe: lets go on a hike even tho ur spine was just sliced up... buddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:11:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenusianBouquet/pseuds/VenusianBouquet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His clothes are shed in a matter of seconds, a reminder of the training he’d undergone as a stormtrooper. Changing in and out of armor efficiently and quickly, his body remembering even as he’d forgotten. Less than a minute passes before he’s in his sleeping clothes. He tries not to think about how the First Order’s training affects something as simple as his nightly routine. He thinks about it anyway. Finn’s thoughts eventually turn to Poe, and he resists even less successfully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night on D'Qar

    “In the First Order, you were tested for certain innate skills. Then, you were strengthened in those areas and brought up to general competence on whatever you didn’t excel at. It ensured cohesiveness, and skill. I don’t know if I have that anymore,” says Finn one night. The thought is one that’s plagued him since he woke up on D’Qar. Tonight, 8 days after he’d been declared fit to leave the medical block, Poe had suggested that they hike up to a nearby hill. He’d been excited, but… now though, lying on the grass, looking up at the night sky, he feels no less confused. 

    All his life, as early as he can remember, the First Order had given him purpose. Stormtroopers, all assigned numbers, all treated as objects, as mindless drones, indoctrinated with a single goal – give your life for the Order. Your life for the cause. No choices. The Resistance is… different. Stormtroopers who are injured past a certain point are left for dead. Here, soldiers are cared for. Given funerals, given choices. Here, for the first time in his life, Finn has been cared for. He’d kept wondering: _What do I have to do? What’s my purpose?_ General Organa had been the one to explain to him, incredulously, _softly,_ that his knowledge of Starkiller Base had swung the war in favor of the Resistance – that the least they could do is let him stay until he’s capable.

    “What do you mean? You’re not sure you have skill? Finn–“

    He interrupts Poe with an impatient wave of his hand, although the corners of his mouth quirk up. “I _mean,_ in the First Order, everyone had a place. You were replaceable, a nobody, an object… But you had your part to play. Here, I’m ‘Finn, the guy who deserted.’”

    Poe huffs. Finn looks over at where Poe lays on the grass next to him. His eyebrows are drawn together, and the moonlight makes his profile sharp. “Finn, you’ve done a lot for the Resistance.” He opens his mouth to say something, but an undecipherable emotion crosses Poe’s face, then. “To me, you’re a helluva lot more than just ‘a guy who deserted,’ you know?”

    He chuckles, the compliment making him flush. “Poe, shut up.” Poe laughs, bright and warm, and something in him softens. He looks back up at the night sky of D’Qar. The sun has started to rise, painting the edge of the horizon in soft rays of orange. The dark still lingers, the stars still shine, but soon they won’t. He edges closer to Poe, and Poe edges closer to him. The closeness is comforting, and familiar, and _new_ , all at once.

    They walk back to the base; the cries of D'Qar's native life loud and omnipresent. No words are said, but Poe’s presence is different from before. Familiar, in a way Finn appreciates, yet – new, different somehow. As soon as they reach Finn’s hallway, they part. Finn to the left, and Poe to the right.

    “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Poe’s voice is strange, too. It’s laced with more emotion, with something he can’t quite place.

    He nods, not trusting his voice. Poe smiles, and Finn smiles back. They continue walking away from each other, and Finn’s mind starts racing. Poe was different. Tonight was different. It was personal in a way he’s never felt before. More intense. He reaches his room and quickly enters, still lost in thought. It’s bare, with only a desk, a shelf, and a bed, although Poe’s jacket – _my_ jacket, Finn reminds himself – slung across the back of a chair makes a little more inviting.

    His clothes are shed in a matter of seconds, a reminder of the training he’d undergone as a stormtrooper. Changing in and out of armor efficiently and quickly, his body remembering even as he’d forgotten. Less than a minute passes before he’s in his sleeping clothes. He tries not to think about how the First Order’s training affects something as simple as his nightly routine. He thinks about it anyway. Finn’s thoughts eventually turn to Poe, and he resists even less successfully.

    His dreams are fitful, involving shadowy figures from the First Order, and then, the General, staring at him. Her gaze is knowing, and she turns away from him. He sees Poe next to her, only he’s angry, more angry than he’s ever seen, and Poe is yelling at him, calling him a traitor, an impostor. He feels ice in his veins as Poe aims a blaster at him. He tries to plead, only no sound will come out, and he looks down to see the white armor he’d worn for his whole life. He looks back up and sees Poe coming towards him with a red lightsaber, with pure _hatred_ in his eyes; he turns to run, but the forest is endless, the cold is too much, he falls to the ground and feels burns slice down his back, one after the other, never stopping, never–

    He sits up violently. The taste of bile rises in his throat, almost too quick to swallow back down.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for that ending! the suspense of it all! I probably won't continue this fic since it started out well but my ideas just sort of got really different to the point that what I had written so far wasn't compatible with what I wanted to tell... but I still really liked some of what I had written! so that's why I'm posting this lol follow me on tumblr @halfgems if you want :)


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